Wow, I can’t believe they let us take a tour of the world-famous Spanakopita Candy Factory, in wonderful Spanakopita, Oklahoma! It’s so cold though, but I guess it’s gotta be just that temperature for them to make the candy oh so delicious. Mmmmmmmmmmm, cannnnndyyyyyy. Sweet, wonderful, scrumptious candy. Maybe we’ll get some at the end of the tour. I sure hope we get some, but we can’t talk so much right now, the tour’s about to start. I can’t wait to see all the fun things inside and all the candy. It’s gonna be great, I’m sure!
So, apparently, there wasn’t any real tour, and the factory has actually been closed since the 50s. Why they let us in, I have no idea, but it certainly explains the chills in here and the decrepit state of affairs concerning the machinery and the lack of workers everywhere. But it sure is exciting. Though I think there were more of us back when we first started on the tour. Wait a minute, I know there were more of us, and I think someone just disappeared. Whatever’s going on, it’s not very funny, if this is supposed to be a joke or a prank. Okay, I think it’s time to leave, cause this is getting creepy.
OKAY. THIS IS OFFICIALLY BECOMING TOO SCARY. Okay, okay, just gotta calm down, and everything will be nice and peachy. So, something or someone is following me. Just need to get out of here and then call the cops, they’ll know exactly what to do. It’s gotta be like, an escaped mental institution patient or something, y’know? The cops wouldn’t just let a monster or something run around an abandoned candy factory, right? RIGHT?!? I mean, that would be insane, you’d have to call the military in or something, right?
So, I caught a look of this…”thing” that’s been chasing down everyone while I was frantically trying to open the door. That...was unholy, whatever it was. It looked like something straight out of a horror flick. Like a cross between a Xenomorph, The Creeper, and a demon. It can’t be natural, no way in hell was that thing something found in nature. Anyway, time to get moving, or the damn thing will catch up to me. Speaking of horror flicks, this whole scenario, hell, this whole damn place seems awfully familiar to me, after thinking about it.
CUT! GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT, PEOPLE! CAN’T WE FILM ONE FUCKING MOVIE WITHOUT THE “ACTORS” GETTING SMART AND MAKING ME START ALL OVER AGAIN!? Jesus tittyfucking Christ. Alright, alright, everything’s gonna be okay, we just need to get the next clone. CAN SOMEONE GET THE NEXT REPLACEMENT IN HERE?!? AND GET RID OF THIS ONE, IT’S DEFECTIVE!
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